Like I’ll never be enough
Like I’ll always be too something
Like there’s just no space for me
No time for me
No love for me
You make me embarrassed
Like walking around all day with period blood on your jeans
Like it’s a natural occurrence but you didn’t notice how wild it looked
Like bad breath but no one will tell you
Like underarm stains
Like peeing on yourself.
You make me feel like all my natural occurrences I should be ashamed of
Like my presence is too overwhelming for you.
Like my anxiety is ugly to you
Like I need to apologize to you for being sad
Like I hate myself so you will tell me you love me outside the house
Like I’m angry at myself for not being smart enough for you.
You don’t love me enough for me to be myself.
You make me hate myself
Like I don’t want to live here anymore
Spiritually live here
Like I’d rather not exist at all
Because I just can’t get me right for you
Like I want to hate me the way you hate me.
And I don’t know how to leave.